1. Executive Summary
58.0%Dead
▲ Worsening (+6.7% since last check)
| Metric | Value |
|---|---|
| Clinical Notes | "Supported entirely by a single stubborn engineer in Nebraska." |
| Classification | tool |
| Age | 20 years (est. 2006) |
2. Algorithmic Evaluation
The following mathematical model was applied to evaluate the existential footprint of jQuery. The deaditude score is heavily influenced by the components listed below.
D =fage × ∑i=1nWbase,i · qi∑ Wbase,j · qjCi
Where Ci ∈ {GH, SO, RE, HN, YT, JB}
Figure 1: Existential Footprint
Radar analysis mapping the six distinct vectors of existential threat.
Figure 2: Historical Deaditude Evolution
Expected Extinction Date (Approximation): October 2033
Chronological evolution of existential threat.
2. Clinical Analysis
2.1 Diagnostic Metrics
The following objective indicators have been collected to determine the existential status of this technology:
Codebase Vitality (GitHub)
- Stars: 59,784
- Forks: 20,377
- Open Issues: 73
- Issues Closed Ratio: 0.0%
- Recent Commits (last month): 2
- Days Since Last Commit: 0
- Contributors Count: 100
- Trend Direction: stable
- Trend Growth Rate: 0.0%
Community Cry for Help (StackOverflow)
- Total Questions (recent): 2
- Answered Ratio: 0.0%
- Accepted Ratio: 0.0%
- Zero Answer Ratio: 100.0%
- Median Response Time (hr): N/A
- Days Since Last Activity: 0
- Trend Direction: stable
Hype & Propaganda (YouTube)
- Recent Videos: 35
- Average Views: 75.9
Despair & Existential Dread (Reddit)
- Reddit Posts (recent): 1
- Average Upvotes: 4.0
- Trend Direction: insufficient_data
- Trend Growth Rate: 0.0%
Intellectual Discourse (Hacker News)
- Mentions (recent): 388
- Average Points: 18.3
- Days Since Last Post: 1
Corporate Adoption (StackShare & Jobs)
- Stacks Using It: 103,910
- StackShare Followers: 0
- StackShare Upvotes: 0
- StackShare Mentions: 0
- Open Job Postings: 6,420
- Jobs Trend Direction: stable
- Jobs Trend Growth Rate: 0.0%
Data retrieved at: 8/15/2026
Appendix A: Recent YouTube Propaganda
| Thumbnail | Video Details | Views |
|---|---|---|
 | Multi-Step Signup Form with jQuery & Tailwind CSS (Step by Step Tutorial) Channel: CodingPH | 25 |
 | Create Amazing Slider Using jQuery | Easy Slider Tutorial for Beginners 🔥 Channel: Code with khushal | 25 |
 | What is jQuery? | JavaScript Tutorial for Beginners (Placement Course) Channel: freeplacementcourse | 12 |
 | 🔥 Ultimate Premium Portfolio Website Using HTML CSS JavaScript & jQuery | Modern Responsive Design Channel: Code with khushal | 17 |
![jQuery Class Selector Tutorial | Select Multiple HTML Elements [Lesson 99]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/4onsunXESlg/mqdefault.jpg) | jQuery Class Selector Tutorial | Select Multiple HTML Elements [Lesson 99] Channel: freeplacementcourse | 3 |
Appendix B: Reddit Despair Logs
| Post Title | Score | Comments |
|---|---|---|
| jQuery UI 1.7.0 to 1.14.2 update | 4 | 0 |
Appendix C: Hacker News Discourse
| Topic | Points | Comments |
|---|---|---|
| jQuery 4.0 Performance | 4 | 0 |
| Surreal.js – 320 line jQuery alternative with inline Locality of Behavior | 3 | 0 |
| You might not need jQuery | 2 | 1 |
| Show HN: Yaiko – A fullstack web framework for Rust and jQuery | 2 | 0 |
| Show HN: I redesigned my self-hosted data manager's UI (4k stars, v2 | 2 | 0 |
Appendix D: StackOverflow Pleas for Help
| Question Title | Views | Status |
|---|---|---|
| Controlling the div's position upon zoom in | 45 | Unanswered (0 ans) |
| Pulling data from JSON file into <select> | 166 | Unanswered (0 ans) |
Appendix E: Historical Deaditude Scores
| Date | Deaditude Score | Verdict |
|---|---|---|
| 8/15/2026 | 58.0% | Dying Slowly |
| 8/1/2026 | 51.3% | Dying Slowly |
| 7/18/2026 | 64.5% | Dying Slowly |
| 7/4/2026 | 59.0% | Dying Slowly |
| 6/24/2026 | 62.0% | Dying Slowly |
| 6/10/2026 | 54.2% | Dying Slowly |
| 5/28/2026 | 51.7% | Dying Slowly |
| 5/14/2026 | 78.4% | Certified Zombie |
| 4/30/2026 | 56.0% | Dying Slowly |
| 4/17/2026 | 49.3% | Stable & Mature |
| 4/3/2026 | 57.2% | Dying Slowly |
| 3/20/2026 | 46.1% | Stable & Mature |
| 3/7/2026 | 53.9% | Dying Slowly |
| 2/21/2026 | 54.0% | Dying Slowly |
| 2/7/2026 | 51.4% | Dying Slowly |
| 1/25/2026 | 52.3% | Dying Slowly |
| 1/11/2026 | 66.8% | Dying Slowly |
| 12/28/2025 | 46.9% | Stable & Mature |
| 12/15/2025 | 47.9% | Stable & Mature |
| 12/1/2025 | 58.1% | Dying Slowly |
| 11/17/2025 | 56.6% | Dying Slowly |
| 11/5/2025 | 40.2% | Stable & Mature |
| 10/22/2025 | 49.9% | Stable & Mature |
| 10/8/2025 | 59.7% | Dying Slowly |
| 9/25/2025 | 48.9% | Stable & Mature |
| 9/11/2025 | 44.7% | Stable & Mature |
| 8/28/2025 | 49.8% | Stable & Mature |
| 8/15/2025 | 64.0% | Dying Slowly |
| 8/1/2025 | 50.3% | Dying Slowly |
| 7/18/2025 | 43.0% | Stable & Mature |
| 7/5/2025 | 49.2% | Stable & Mature |
| 6/21/2025 | 59.6% | Dying Slowly |
| 6/8/2025 | 62.7% | Dying Slowly |
| 5/12/2025 | 51.6% | Dying Slowly |
| 5/9/2025 | 60.0% | Dying Slowly |
| 5/3/2025 | 55.3% | Dying Slowly |